The Giant

Being the mother of a four year old is still a somewhat new experience for me.  I marvel every day at just how large this creature is who used to fit in my arms.  He carries himself differently.  He is a young boy.

Along with this new stature comes a new depth of imagination.  Mind you, Noah already has an intense imaginary life full of wild animals that have distinct purposes.  When I come home from work, Noah and his babysitter are ALWAYS playing animal doctor.  Noah pretends he is some wounded animal and acts out that persona, for example an owl.  He hoots around the room and crashes on the floor grabbing a wounded wing until the animal doctor babysitter tends to his needs with his medical kit.  This is the scenario every time.  Sorry Thomas the Train, there is little room for you here unless you are carrying wounded circus animals.

So yesterday Noah and I needed to go on a long drive to pick up something for church.  We took Paul's old pick up truck.  Noah has no memory of driving in a vehicle without power windows controlled by us and he was distraught by the fact that he couldn't open his window.  He wanted me to reach over and wind the window open, which I couldn't do.  I told him he could try but he couldn't get out of his seat.  Yes my four year old is in a small booster with just a seat belt.  Sigh. 

So, after some thought he asked me if we could get a giant to come and use giant arms to open the window.  Good thought.  I picked up my phone and called the closest giant.  Noah watched intently as I conversed with said giant.  I told him the giant couldn't come because he was putting his kids to bed.  He was satisfied for a minute and then begged me to call the giant back again.  I called and pretended the giant was yelling at me for calling again.  I told Noah the results and he looked very sad. 

A few minutes later, he asked me to try one more time.  I called the giant and explained to Noah that he had to stay home because one of his giant babies was sick and needed him.  He said he understood that the giant had to take the baby to the doctor.

Out of nowhere a HUGE pick up truck came racing up behind us.  We both noticed.  Noah got all hyped up that it was the giant coming to yell at us for bugging him.  He looked at me and said "Mommy be quiet for a second" and I did.  And then every time I began to speak, Noah "shusshed" me with his finger. 

I asked ... do we have to be quiet so the giant can't hear us? He said no.
I asked.. do we have to be quiet so the giant won't see us? He said no.

I said, well the giant is mad at us... what if that is him behind us? He's mad at us and he's going to get us!  We better go FAST!!!! And get home to daddy!

He shusshed me again.

I asked why I had to be quiet.

He said... I prayed to God mommy.  The giant has a happy heart because God made his heart happy.  He's not mad at us at all.  We have to be quiet so that the giant's sick baby can sleep.  Please stop talking, mommy, you'll wake the baby.


Silly me.

Just 1 more second, Mommy

Our oldest monster is quite the handful.  He is over emotional and dramatic and wild and exhausting.  He has trouble acclimating both when we go places and when we leave.  He screams death shrills at the slightest hint of any privilege being removed.  It is not a matter of being 4 or 3 or 2, it is simply Noah's passionate personality.  Most times this can drive me crazy.

But just as quickly as he can lose his mind, he can flip his behavior into the world's most loving, caring, and compassionate little boy.  He tells me a million times throughout the day that he loves me so much.  He randomly tells me "you're the best mommy in the whole wide world" for no reason.  He begs for kisses and hugs constantly.  He wants to snuggle 24 hours a day.

Yesterday when we were in the car on the way home from a picnic he said out of the blue "Mommy, were you soooo sad when you didn't have me in your life?" Both Paul and I were caught off guard by this comment.  We smiled, because of course he can't imagine life before him.  I said "Well, Noah, I didn't know you then, so I couldn't miss you, but now I would be sooo sad if I didn't know you"  He topped off last night with "Mommy, please don't die ever, because I need you forever."

Today was a particularly challenging day.  He was all fired up for no reason.  We made it through alive and as I laid with him before bed we chatted as usual.  He snuggled up next to me and held a giraffe in one arm and dumpy (he loves it AJ!) in the other.  I laid there for a minute praying for the wild man next to me and he said "Mommy, please put your arms around me and hold me forever."  After a while he drifted off, I kissed him on the cheek and went to leave.  He turned over, very groggy, and said "Mommy, hold me just one more second?"

I always talk about how sad I will be when the kids grow up.  I am so worried about kindergarten next year that I get sick about it.  But it's not really about the growing up part as much as it is about knowing that I will not lay in his bed forever and hold him because quite frankly teenage and grown boys aren't (I don't think!) interested in their mommy's laying in bed with them and snuggling.  I love every night of this and I love every second he wants me to be there... 

I love you wild man Noah!