Christmas Preparation at 45 Western Terrace and other random thoughts

I do have to agree this is one of the most wonderful times of the year. As I sit down to write, we have almost 2 feet of snow outside. The most we've seen since I was a teenager. It started last night and it still going strong. It's not supposed to stop until tomorrow morning. There is nothing like some good fresh, clean snow to slow you down and put things in perspective.

Christmas preparation has been much different this year for various reasons. One, I am fairly immobile and that changes my ability to do things I want to do. Two, Noah is much more aware than ever before of the things that are going on around him.

As you well know, we are not a Santa household. I am not a Santa hater anymore, but I simply choose not to perpetuate that story as a central piece of our Christmas celebration. This has been especially tough this year with Noah seeing and hearing all that is going on around him. Every single Christmas cartoon on TV is about Santa and poor little children being placed on the naughty list. Each time we talk about how God doesn't put us on a naughty list and how Christmas is for everyone. At Noah's school, it seems to be Santa central and the teachers cornered me to ask what they should do because Noah doesn't "believe." They asked if I could just go along with it for the sake of the other kids. I was pretty floored, but stuck my ground. I said that they could do whatever they wanted in the class, but I would not tell my child that Santa brings our presents and that "getting stuff" is the purpose of the holiday. One mother (in jest) said that she wasn't going to let Noah hang out with her kids until they were 10 so he didn't ruin it for them!!! So, I have chosen very carefully to be positive about the entire experience and never put off Santa or be mean or rude about it. Instead, I simply say that Santa is a nice story about a good man, similar to other stories we see and hear -- like Winnie the Pooh and Blue's Clues, very nice stories about nice people.

We started out last weekend by packing up the kids and heading to a live nativity. It was sooo awesome!!! It was at a small church nearby and Noah got to pet the animals and talk to Mary and Joseph. He was so excited about it and talked on and on... Can we see another nativity Mommy?




We have a bazillion nativities around the house, including a stick on window one and a Veggie Tales one that Noah can play with to his heart's content.

One of the interesting things about Noah is that he never really asks for anything. If we are at a store he doesn't really ask to buy or get anything. I'm quite surprised by this. The only thing he ever wants is more tv shows! One of the things I dislike about Santa is the concept of telling him what you want, thus perpetuating this idea that Christmas is about getting junk. And that our happiness depends on getting the items that we want to receive. We have not asked Noah at all what he wants for Christmas and have not encouraged a list or any sort of "gimme" mentality.

Here is a picture of him before his PreSchool Holiday party (which I could not attend). I heard later that Santa and Mrs. Claus were there and Noah went up to him and said "I would really like a toy car" which I found incredibly amusing because he has 50 toy cars and NEVER plays with them ever.




I asked him after the party if he thought Christmas was about getting things and he said "No, It's about baby Jesus' birthday." I told him he was right, but it was also about love and giving to others. So we sat down and let him think of things he would like to give others. Some of the things he picked for some of you are HILARIOUS!!!! I can't reveal them until Christmas, but unfortunately he did want to give Ms. Leslie and Ms. Jen makeup and a mirror and all of the boys Candy Canes. !!!!!!

Today we were blessed with 2 ft. of snow which has added to the magic of this wonderful season. We pulled out this snowsuit -- an Ashford family tradition. It was worn by Nina, Paul, Nina's 3 sons and now Noah. Pretty cool, huh? Noah and Paul went out and built snowmen and went sledding with some of our neighbors. Then we all came in and hot chocolate, grilled cheese and tomato soup.

We finally got Noah hunkered down for his nap this afternoon and we are checking things off our list (since I only have one more day until surgery) and Paul suggested I take a bubble bath and read a book to relax since I won't be able to do much of anything for a little while. So I did. It was pretty magical to sit there and read while I watched the huge flakes of snow fall outside the window beside me. All of this while Paul cleaned. Yes, I know how wonderful he is.

We finally woke Noah up at almost 6pm because he was zonked from sledding. We had some food that wonderful people have made for us and then we decided to string popcorn for the tree while the blizzard blazes on.


Noah was very interested in the popcorn, but only while pretending he was a dog. He was eating the broken pieces and panting in a dog manner all the while. We hung it on the tree and settled in for Charlie Brown's Christmas Special. While Lucy read from the Bible, Paul and I smiled at each other happy to be watching this movie and looked down to see our very wild little boy eating his movie popcorn on his hands and knees and barking like a dog.

If you're wondering where Maevey Gravy was, she has been hibernating all week... yesterday I think she was only awake for 3 hours, today maybe 4. Someone told me 6 months is a big growth spurt, but Maeve has made sleeping her favorite hobby. Hopefully she will be awake enough tomorrow for a photo op in the snow!

Sorry for the novel length, but sometimes I like the memories to look back on later.

Maeve 6 months

Well, 6 months isn't officially until Sunday, but somehow I think I'll be pretty busy as the weekend draws to an end.

My sweet little girl gets sweeter every day. She seems to be in less pain and just much more adjusted than she ever has. She is sooooo happy and just the smiley-est thing ever. Maeve wakes in the morning and from almost every nap with sweet noises and happy smiles. Even if she's sad, when you pick her up she tries to smile at you.

She is sitting up now, a little floppy, but up nonetheless. She is very interested in her toys now and draws everything to her mouth, especially people's hands and fingers. She's rolling, mostly in her crib. She babbles often and has a hearty chuckle that is wonderful. We all swear that sometimes she says hi unintentionally.

Her favorite thing to do (which was also Noah's favorite) is the door swing. She will bounce in there for an hour and just smile and giggle away.

She has always been a homebody, much more comfortable in her own space, but she hasn't left the house much at all in the past month because of my injury and she is pretty happy to just be home all the time.

She continues to be enamored by Noah and watches his every move. She snuggles with him more each day and just beams at him. We think that one of two things could happen... she could continue in this set up and follow him around like a little pup, happy as can be to be the little sister, or she could develop a defiance that wants to go her own way which Noah would not like at all. We don't see traces of the latter yet, but who knows, she's just a baby!

She sometimes struggles with eating and refuses to eat more than a bit at a time and other times she is voracious and guzzles, but she is getting better each day with that. She hasn't yet refused a food or really shown a preference. She is a spitter however and so whatever she eats usually ends up all over all of us.

It is an awesome feeling to have these two little people in our life. I sit in bed in the morning and marvel at my family...I have a family of my own! I am so happy with our little clan and the love that we all share for each other. Even though Maeve is just little, she is absolutely a huge part of this beautiful family and we are all so blessed to know this awesome little girl! Happy 6 months sweetie!!!!

Knee Update

So........

If you want to know the real skinny on my knee, here is the lowdown.

In 9th and 10th grade respectively I tore my R and L ACL which is the ligament that holds your leg together at the knee. I had both replaced in high school. This was done by taking a piece of the tendon out of my patella and screwing it into the bones to grow a new ACL. I was told then that my knees would be 100 times stronger than most ordinary knees. I spent my freshman and sophmore years in high school on crutches, even my 16th birthday party. I went through the god awful surgeries and rehabs and for the past 15 years i have been fine... running, basketball, no worries at all.

Over the past few years I have noticed that my left knee would give out from time to time. Within a few minutes I would be back on my feet with no problems. I assumed it was a repercussion of the old surgeries. On December 2nd I was walking with some kids at church and my knee gave out and this time I couldn't stand back up.

I thought if I gave it some time I would be fine. I got into a wheel chair and just wheeled around for the night. At the end of the night I tried to stand on it and it was awful. I managed to get into my car and go home and two people followed me and carried me in to my house.

I went to the doctor the next morning who thought it might be just a meniscus (tissue) tear which is a quick fix. I got some crutches, some pain meds, an mri and an xray. I saw the first surgeon who told me it was indeed a re-tear of my ACL and a bad meniscus tear. The screws used from my first surgery were also in the way of any future surgeries. He wanted to remove the meniscus, remove the screws and reattach the acl with a cadaver. After asking around a million people told me to get a second opinion and go to a better hospital.

Today I went to a different surgeon who has done many many re-tear surgeries. He was wonderful and I felt much more comfortable with him. Basically, if you remove this much meniscus you will have virtually instant arthritis and leg pain and struggle forever. Sometimes there is no other choice but to remove it. This doc wants to try to repair the meniscus because he said that when you do the ACL surgery at the same time, bone marrow is released that causes the meniscus to regenerate. It is not foolproof but it would increase my chances of not having pain forever and ever.

The down side of this procedure is that for 6 weeks after surgery I would not be able to move my leg more than a few degrees to allow the meniscus to regenerate without the friction of a functioning knee. Once that is finished then I can start rehab on the ACL which would take another 2 or 3 months to be walking completely unassisted. I do think however, that once the 6 weeks is over, I would likely be in a leg brace and not completely off of my feet, so I might be able to walk, even without crutches, just with a big metal contraption on my leg.

This doc also said that he would rearrange his schedule so that I might be able to get operated on very quickly... maybe even this week. The other doctor gave an initial date of Jan 17 and a sooner date of Dec. 29th.

So, this pretty much stinks all around. There is no pretending I am not devastated on so many fronts. My friends and I were talking about training for a marathon. I was just starting to get in a groove at work. I am struggling so much to watch my house be a mess and not be able to do anything about it.

But, I can see the good things. I have so many friends that are helping in so many ways. I have a meal calendar set up from now until February!!! My mom is helping so much and Paul's mom will be able to take time off of work when we have a surgery date. Noah is pretty easy and can do most tasks without help. The toughest thing is Maeve. I can't carry anything and I can't put her down for naps or go get her when she cries. This is the one piece that breaks my heart more than the others. Luckily she is a sweetheart and is always so happy to see me and be with me.

Paul is of course amazing and is doing so much. He never stops so that everything can get done and I appreciate it so much but it is also hard to always be a spectator.

This makes juggling family and work a trillion times harder because it takes me soooo long to do anything. Every activity, even simple ones, are 10- 20 min longer than normal. Showering takes an hour, getting to the car takes at least 10. Unfortunately work is the one thing that is getting the shaft right now and I simply don't have a lot of options. I can do a lot from my laptop but I can't build relationships that way and that makes me sad. I know there is time to do these things, but I have so many ideas and hopes and dreams!

I'm trying not to let myself ask why this happened and just plow through the days to recovery.

Thanks so much for your love and support.