A Rich Day in Heaven

Today Noah, Maeve and I attended my Uncle Stanley's funeral. My uncle was my mother's sister's husband. There is a large age gap between my mom and her sister, so my Uncle Stanley was more like a grandparent than an uncle. When I was young my aunt and uncle would often watch me after school (when I was in Kindergarten) and take me to the park. They did a lot of driving for my grandmother and I was often with her as well so I saw them a lot. My uncle Stanley was an awesome guy. He was so gentle and patient. I was telling Paul that they were a couple that I always thought was madly in love. They held hands until he didn't know what was going on anymore.

Today I trekked up to Reading with the kiddos to attend his memorial. It was at a Catholic Church and I thank God for the crying room! We were able to sit and enjoy the service and be squirmy all at the same time! The kids did really really well. Noah had a bag of animals with him and he set up a funeral with the animals. He wanted to know a lot about how Uncle Stanley died and if I was really sad.

The priest was good and though I'm sure it was a standard sermon, I still liked it. He talked about how after the crucifixion, Jesus' friends were probably telling stories... Remember when Jesus walked on water, Remember when he told us he would save us... and how their hopes were dashed, until the resurrection happened and they realized that their remember when's were not hollow. He encouraged us to remember times with my Uncle Stanley in that same way... looking back and looking forward at the same time. Knowing we cannot hold on to him.

It was incredibly difficult to watch my aunt. She was very strong through most of it and then when it was time to follow the casket out of the church she crumbled. I cannot imagine following the love of your life out of a church at a funeral. The very thought makes me sick to my stomach, despite all that I know and believe, I still think it would be horrific.

Afterward Maeve fell asleep in the car and so I didn't want to get out or turn the car off. The burial was indoors and so I just drove around the cemetery telling Noah about the tombstones. I forgot that some of my family was buried there so I drove around looking for my grandmother and grandfather's tombstones. I found them quickly and my heart just skipped a beat and I started to cry. I loved my grandparents sooo much. I got out of the car and just talked to my grandmother. Noah got out and ran over to the grave and gave it a big hug. He is an amazing little thing. He asked if they were covered in mud since they were in the ground. He was worried that his grandparents would die soon but I assured him that it would be okay. Then he saw a pinwheel on another grave and was distracted.

It was a pretty good day and I was very happy with how well they both did. I do think that Noah has something special in him though... something really divine. He talks to God and about God all the time. Today he wanted to know why Jesus can't come back to earth right now. I just hope I can foster this curiosity and help him to grow and love God and the church. I don't know how to ensure he'll never leave God's side and I know there is no sure way I can insure that, but I wish I could. For now, I'll just keep telling him the stories. Remember when...