Knee Update

So........

If you want to know the real skinny on my knee, here is the lowdown.

In 9th and 10th grade respectively I tore my R and L ACL which is the ligament that holds your leg together at the knee. I had both replaced in high school. This was done by taking a piece of the tendon out of my patella and screwing it into the bones to grow a new ACL. I was told then that my knees would be 100 times stronger than most ordinary knees. I spent my freshman and sophmore years in high school on crutches, even my 16th birthday party. I went through the god awful surgeries and rehabs and for the past 15 years i have been fine... running, basketball, no worries at all.

Over the past few years I have noticed that my left knee would give out from time to time. Within a few minutes I would be back on my feet with no problems. I assumed it was a repercussion of the old surgeries. On December 2nd I was walking with some kids at church and my knee gave out and this time I couldn't stand back up.

I thought if I gave it some time I would be fine. I got into a wheel chair and just wheeled around for the night. At the end of the night I tried to stand on it and it was awful. I managed to get into my car and go home and two people followed me and carried me in to my house.

I went to the doctor the next morning who thought it might be just a meniscus (tissue) tear which is a quick fix. I got some crutches, some pain meds, an mri and an xray. I saw the first surgeon who told me it was indeed a re-tear of my ACL and a bad meniscus tear. The screws used from my first surgery were also in the way of any future surgeries. He wanted to remove the meniscus, remove the screws and reattach the acl with a cadaver. After asking around a million people told me to get a second opinion and go to a better hospital.

Today I went to a different surgeon who has done many many re-tear surgeries. He was wonderful and I felt much more comfortable with him. Basically, if you remove this much meniscus you will have virtually instant arthritis and leg pain and struggle forever. Sometimes there is no other choice but to remove it. This doc wants to try to repair the meniscus because he said that when you do the ACL surgery at the same time, bone marrow is released that causes the meniscus to regenerate. It is not foolproof but it would increase my chances of not having pain forever and ever.

The down side of this procedure is that for 6 weeks after surgery I would not be able to move my leg more than a few degrees to allow the meniscus to regenerate without the friction of a functioning knee. Once that is finished then I can start rehab on the ACL which would take another 2 or 3 months to be walking completely unassisted. I do think however, that once the 6 weeks is over, I would likely be in a leg brace and not completely off of my feet, so I might be able to walk, even without crutches, just with a big metal contraption on my leg.

This doc also said that he would rearrange his schedule so that I might be able to get operated on very quickly... maybe even this week. The other doctor gave an initial date of Jan 17 and a sooner date of Dec. 29th.

So, this pretty much stinks all around. There is no pretending I am not devastated on so many fronts. My friends and I were talking about training for a marathon. I was just starting to get in a groove at work. I am struggling so much to watch my house be a mess and not be able to do anything about it.

But, I can see the good things. I have so many friends that are helping in so many ways. I have a meal calendar set up from now until February!!! My mom is helping so much and Paul's mom will be able to take time off of work when we have a surgery date. Noah is pretty easy and can do most tasks without help. The toughest thing is Maeve. I can't carry anything and I can't put her down for naps or go get her when she cries. This is the one piece that breaks my heart more than the others. Luckily she is a sweetheart and is always so happy to see me and be with me.

Paul is of course amazing and is doing so much. He never stops so that everything can get done and I appreciate it so much but it is also hard to always be a spectator.

This makes juggling family and work a trillion times harder because it takes me soooo long to do anything. Every activity, even simple ones, are 10- 20 min longer than normal. Showering takes an hour, getting to the car takes at least 10. Unfortunately work is the one thing that is getting the shaft right now and I simply don't have a lot of options. I can do a lot from my laptop but I can't build relationships that way and that makes me sad. I know there is time to do these things, but I have so many ideas and hopes and dreams!

I'm trying not to let myself ask why this happened and just plow through the days to recovery.

Thanks so much for your love and support.