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Oh my, there is so much to report! Our little one is quite the handful these days. She is a true Jekyll and Hyde personality. 50% of the time she is the joy of the world full of HUGE grins and captivating noises. 50% of the time she is full of a wrath of an angry woman. She's kind of like her momma ;)
Last week was especially rough. She was generally cranky and wasn't sleeping as well. Then one day last week she refused to nurse. No matter what I did she would not come near my body. It was heart wrenching and confusing. Apparently a "nursing strike" is a common thing. Some babies spend a day or two, some never get over it. The doc said to just wait it out. She pretty much refused nursing all week long. Just when I resigned to being done, I asked God for just one more time to share that bond with her so that I could cherish it and Friday morning she nursed first thing in the morning. I was so grateful for that moment.
Since then she has been nursing a little bit more. 2 or 3 times a day and I am hoping we will be able to work back to a good relationship again, but I am not going to stress about it anymore. She is back to sleeping well (she was the last one to wake up today!) and she has also begun to refuse solids which she loved before (which I am also not at all worried about).
She very much wants to be upright all the time, in her exersaucer or door swing and she is enjoying the company of her brother more each day. The thrush is FINALLY gone after a heavy hitting does of Diflucan. Reflux still looms but it is manageable.
I find it difficult to be out and about, however. If she is at home, she is like clockwork, eat/awake for 1 hour, sleep for 2 hours. If she isn't in her crib, she doesn't really sleep and can be tough to get back into her routine and crankiness ensues. It makes me want to stay at home more which means a lot of errands are just left undone, which I am okay with.
We are still adjusting to our new lifestyle (isn't 5 months of this enough? -- NO!). Work is going very well for me and I feel very comfortable in my new position. I love the people I am working with and I love all of the young families at our church. I also love that there isn't as much pressure or expectation from me. I feel very conflicted though. When I am at home if the kids are awake it is pretty chaotic and I am tending to them. If they are asleep I feel obligated to work. This leaves 0 minutes for phone calls or personal time. If you feel that I have neglected you, I am soooo sorry... and I know I will figure out a way to balance all of this, but for right now I am just barely holding it all together... but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. In another 6 months they will be playing together and watching movies together and it will all be different. For now, I am a wild woman! I was recently watching some devotional podcasts and the woman said to just stop complaining about where you are in life because it is exactly where God has put you and if you let him, God will use you right where you are. I loved that bit of wisdom and I am doing my best to just let God use me to be a loving mother to two great kids and to be a pastor to children and youth in my church.
So, here's the little cutie, full of dimples and smiles!
